As a child, I faced immense trauma and abuse from the people who were supposed to love and protect me. My mother tried to abort me (on her own, with a wire hanger!), nearly taking my life before it had even begun. My father, who was supposed to be my protector, tried to end my life when I was barely two by smothering me with a pillow just because I wouldn’t stop crying.

At the age of five, I was given away like an unwanted puppy to strangers who were supposed to give me the love I could not get from my parents. And by many measures, they were better. However, despite finding a new home, my trauma continued. Between moments of love and peace, I was humiliated, belittled, called stupid, and physically abused with anything available, including extension cords, two-by-fours, hangers, and even hands.

I grew up in an environment surrounded by abuse and violence. So, I could have easily followed the same path and turned my life into loneliness, bitterness, and violence. But instead, I chose a different path to become the person I wish my parents were. Through it all, I never lost my spirit or my resilience.

I’ve learned that, despite all the pain and suffering I faced, it was possible to rise above it and turn a negative experience into something beautiful. These are five important lessons I learned from my childhood trauma.

5 Lessons I Learned From My Childhood Trauma

1. Empathy

My experiences have given me a deeper understanding of others who have faced similar struggles, and I have developed a strong capacity for empathy and compassion.

2. Self-Forgiveness

Holding onto anger and resentment only continues the cycle of abuse and violence. By choosing to let go of resentment toward my abusers, and practicing self-forgiveness, I was able to heal from my trauma and move forward with my life. Self-forgiveness allowed me to let go of the pain and bitterness and instead, focus on the present moment and my future.

And just in case you’re wondering why I chose self-forgiveness over the forgiveness of the abusers, I take a deep dive into this in my book SON OF A WHORE. For now, let me just say that I believe that people who do wrong to others must walk their own path to being forgiven, and should not get a “got off scot-free” ticket, just because their victims are consciously working on healing themselves.

3. Strength Can Come From Adversity

My childhood experiences were some of the most traumatic and abusive a person could ever face. But, because of that, I have become stronger and more resilient. It was a choice I had to make on the daily basis. I have learned that adversity can be the very thing that helps us become stronger, more empathetic, and better equipped to handle life’s challenges.

4. Self-Awareness

By reflecting on my experiences and working through the impact they have had on me, I have become more self-aware and have gained a deeper understanding of my own emotions, triggers, and patterns of behavior. I also learned how to communicate them better to those closest to me. This has enabled me to make positive changes in my life and relationships.

5. Love is Unconditional

Despite the abuse and violence I faced, I developed an ability to love and be loved. I have learned that true love can be unconditional and that it’s possible to find love and happiness even after experiencing the worst forms of abuse and trauma. This has helped me to build healthy and loving relationships with the people in my life and has allowed me to live a fulfilling life.
In conclusion, it’s important to acknowledge that despite the hardships and trauma I faced in my childhood, I was able to turn them into triumphs. I chose a path of non-violence and self-forgiveness and was able to see the lessons that my childhood trauma taught me. While the healing journey is not easy, it is possible to take the lessons learned from trauma and use them to become a better, stronger, and more resilient person.

If you are going through a similar experience, I want to let you know that you too can turn your trauma into triumph. It may not be easy, but with perseverance, support, accountability, and a positive outlook, you too can find the light in the darkness and turn your trauma into a powerful tool for growth and self-discovery. So, hold on tight, and know that better days are ahead.

PS: You can get the tools I used to heal my childhood trauma in my book “SON OF A WHORE“.

Demetrye